C.S. Lewis wrote a book called “Mere Christianity”, in which he boiled down the essence of Christianity (as he saw it) and put it in a book. He claimed that this was the merest essence of Christianity, that the rest was basically politics.

An article I read recently did something similar. The author discussed boiling down all the advice you can give for a given topic into seven words. Here’s a quote from the article:

“The author Michael Pollan offered an elegant seven-word mantra in his best-selling book “In Defense of Food” that provides clarity amid the bounty of choices on supermarket shelves: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” Boiling down investing is a similar exercise: Index (mostly). Save a ton. Reallocate infrequently.”
(source: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/17/business/yourmoney/17money.html?_…)

As you can see, they boiled down the advice for food (”Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”) into seven words, as well as investing (”Index. Save a ton. Reallocate frequently.”)

I’d like to hear your thoughts and see what you guys can boil down regional theatre (or theatre in general) into seven words. No more, no less.

Bring it on!

Here’s an interesting article I stumbled upon.

(Source: http://antistress.ro/2007/12/04/dodge-logo/)

Never have a limit on your income

Posted on April 7, 2008 by Derek Sivers

A wise man said, “Never have a limit on your income.”

Example he gave:

If you sell pens for a living and someone orders a million pens, no problem! You just place an order with your manufacturer for a million pens, get them to the customer, and celebrate.

But if you do hands-on massage for a living and a recent spot on Oprah gets you a waiting list of 10,000 people, “you’ll wish you were in the pen business.”

Point being : if you make a living only providing an in-person (hands-on) service, you are limiting your income. If you were in a “while you sleep” business, there is no limit to how much you can make.

So… what about musicians?

For the last few years, many people have suggested that the products (CDs, even downloads) are now just the free giveaways to get people to go to the show - that musicians are only in a hands-on service-provider business now.

Of course I disagree because I watch CD Baby pay more and more to musicians every month (while they sleep).

Musicians MUST NOT buy into that “only earn by performing” belief because it limits your income.

I spend a LOT of money on music, but haven’t been to a live concert in years. The recorded music has great value to me, whether MP3s, CDs, or even subscription services.

What other ways can music be a “while you sleep” income-earner for musicians? (STUPID BRAINSTORM WARNING

• write songs for others to perform
• creating commercial-use music (that businesses will use in advertising, for example)
• getting your music into film/tv
• paid-area access to your web-archive with all your music, even works-in-progress
• make it easy for fans to donate
• create a recognizable brand once, then license the name or model to others (like “Chicken Soup for the Soul”)
• franchise your band: train multiple bands how to sound just like you, then all can go tour, while you get royalty when they do
• creating music-education programs used by many schools
• release your unmixed tracks for fans to remix, letting them sell the remixes on a 50/50 split

WHAT ELSE?

Okay, so that got me thinking. According to those categories, theatre is a “hands-on” industry while other disciplines like film and TV are “while you sleep” industries. You can’t really do live theatre while you sleep (unless you’re Marvin from Marvin’s Room). On the other hand, once a film is made, all it takes to sell more is calling up the distributor and having them rush out more copies.

In short, this is mostly why two or three commercials in sizable markets can pay enough to last you a year while you pursue theatrical endeavors.

Theatre artists, like musicians, could benefit financially from “while you sleep” things. Notice musicians still tour; theatre artists should still produce live theatre. But musicians can also sell CDs and merchandise and music videos. How can we theatre artists do more “while you sleep” things to help us out financially?

Here’s a few ideas I thought of.

1) Custom T-shirts for Theatres and Plays. It’s relatively cheap to make custom T-shirts and you can do a 10% mark-up to cover costs and bring in a little extra income. You could do custom shirts for each play or do one for an entire season. The sky’s the limit!

2) uh… uh… I’m out of ideas.

Help? Any ideas out there?

Over at Angry White Guy in Chicago, Don often breaks out into angry rants (fits his blog title!) about every topic under the sun, from tourists to theatre, politics to gas prices, stupid hats to idiot bloggers calling for civility. In his latest post, “Is being ‘civil’ just another way to shut people up?”, Don argues that his ranting style brings honesty to a culture and community that simply isn’t used to being honest. And let’s face it, folks, he’s right.

When is the last time someone came to one of your performances and, when asked how it went, said “That was a shitty show”? Honestly, when did someone give you NEGATIVE feedback? They don’t. Or if they do, they cushion it with “Well, I didn’t like this part so much *mumble*becauseithoughtitwasstupid*mumble*, BUT I liked your performance. You were so funny!” They deflect the negative criticism while focusing on the positive.

One of Don’s favorite pasttimes was to rip Scott Walters a new one each week. And each week, Scott would retaliate. It always resulted in interesting conversations and arguments for us readers, but to be honest, when the overarching plot of both blogs should have been moving forward, they were standing still, rehashing the same arguments over and over. Many readers, including myself, put out a call for civility.

Don clearly takes offense at this statement. Why should he be civil? Clearly, we’re just trying to shut him up.

That’s not the case.

It’s one thing to say “This Pine Tree cigarette sucks donkey balls” and quite another to say “This Pine Tree cigarette sucks donkey balls because I feel like I’m smoking a picnic table and I think I’m gonna puke”

The first is just antagonistic and worthy of you wearing an “I’m a fucking retard” hat. The second expresses the same feeling, but offers justification which a) validates your opinion in that at least fact-based opinion and b) lets them know exactly why you felt their product sucked donkey balls.

Any time I call for civility, that’s what I’m asking for — not just criticism but constructive criticism. Meaningful feedback that can be acted upon.

I feel like Don’s review of GreyZelda’s The Skriker was a good one — he pointed out the flaws, essentially saying “I felt like this was crap and could’ve been a lot better, and here’s why…” As a director, I would have walked away with a lot of useful information from that. I might not agree with the criticism, but I’d at least listen and learn. The next night, I might watch it with the newfound information and notice what that person was talking about — or decide that their complaint wasn’t relevant (i.e. it only happened that one night, or perhaps you had intended something to work this way — in which case, you need to figure out why they didn’t get it, etc etc).

Just because you don’t like something I did does NOT mean that I’m obligated to follow your suggestions. It simply means that you had an opinion. And most people don’t just make comments like “That was horseshit” without at least a semi-good reason. So if find out what that reason was, I can maybe make it more clear next time.

Be honest. Be critical. Be constructively critical.

For you theatre people out there, if you honestly don’t like something — SAY SO. If you don’t say anything, we’ll never know and we’ll never change! We’ll assume it just works and keep on keeping on. But if you say something, then at least you can rest in the knowledge that you put in your six cents (gas prices, you know) and that if they don’t take your criticism to heart, then you’ve done all you can.

Cause let’s be honest, folks. There’s a lot of shitty theatre going on out there. And we put up with it because we’re too nice to say otherwise. There’s a lot of good theater out there, too. You know what separates the good theatre from the shitty theatre? Criticism. Lots and lots of constructive criticism. These guys get advice from people they trust so that they know what works and what doesn’t.

Anyone who doesn’t accept constructive criticism and at least listens to it with an open mind and hopes to learn is a fucking moron and deserves to wear Don’s stupid hat.

Be honest. Be bold. Be in-your-face. Be constructive.

One thing that people do very often is stare right into the face of truth and ignore it. They let their preconceived notions and assumptions inhibit their ability to think for themselves, to learn. My roommate, for example, believes very strongly that evolution (just a “theory”) is a hoax, that God put the dinosaurs in the earth for us to find. Obviously, he doesn’t understand what a scientific theory entails. But his religious beliefs and other preconceived ideas keep him from accepting the fact that science has proven thousands of times that evolution works.

My parents believe that I’m wasting my time with theatre. Every time I call my grandmother, she says something along the lines of “Maybe you should try getting a real job.” My family has made this assumption that theatre is all fun and games, that it involves no actual work and focus and meaningful activity. A lawyer friend of mine derided the American public for grieving for Heath Ledger’s untimely death by saying “You guys are a bunch of idiots. You never knew the guy. Even the guy you think you knew, you didn’t know. He made a living pretending to be something else.” Yes, that’s what actors do, but there is more to it than simply pretending.

Theatre is a very hard industry to make a living in, I’ll grant you that. But people like Scott Walters and others are trying to come up with ways to help theatre artists make living wages while still producing their art. They’re challenging the base assumptions behind the status quo.

One of my favorite shows is Stargate SG-1. In that show’s first season, Daniel Jackson encounters an Ancient, an being who as ascended to a higher plane of existence (think the Buddhists’ Nirvana). Oma Desala, as the character is called, speaks in riddles to Daniel Jackson. One thing she says is “If you immediately know candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked long ago.” Daniel has no idea what it means.

Ten seasons later, I think I’ve figured it out. If you immediately know candlelight is fire (i.e. without thinking about it), then the meal was cooked long ago (i.e. you had already decided the truth). If you immediately know evolution is false, without looking at the facts or thinking about it, then you’ve closed your mind to any alternatives. In this case, you’ve closed your mind to the truth.

If you immediately know theatre is a waste of time, then you’ve already decided theatre artists are lazy people, no better than beggars and hobos.

Don’t be my parents.
Open your eyes to the truth.
Explore the possibilities.

As sort of a sequel to the How To Annoy Your Director post, I’ve got another little list for you to peruse. Tell me if this hasn’t happened to you!

Every show I’ve ever been to and probably every one I’ll go to in the near future, I can guarantee you someone’s cell phone is going to go off. Instead of being embarrassed and whispering “Sorry!”, they pick up the phone, and loudly exclaim “Yeah?! I’m at a play. I SAID, I’M AT A PLAY. Yeah! It’s okay, I guess. That fat girl up there sucks, and the scrawny guy — well, I can’t hear a damn word he says…” Meanwhile, the rest of the audience is glaring at her. She prattles on, oblivious.

This has happened so many times on stage that I’ve come up with quite a few scenarios as to what I would like to do.

1. I’ve actually done this: I waited until they were done, and then once they realized the action stopped, they got up and left. The audience applauded when they left, too.
2. Throw a prop at them, preferably a sword or knife of some kind. I haven’t done this for liability reasons, of course, but… it’d be so nice.
3. Yell, “Out, damn phone! Out!” in character. Haven’t done this yet, either. Mainly because it’s not likely I’ll perform in the Scottish play anytime soon, and I haven’t figured out a way to do it in character and not screw up the moment in other plays.
4. Break character and say “Excuse me, ma’am, we’re in the middle of a play.” Not gonna happen.
5. Walk off-stage into the house, grab the cell phone, drop it on the floor, and squash it with my boot, then walk back on-stage and pick up where I left off. I wish.

People just don’t respect the theatre these days.

Stole this from a Facebook Group. Funny stuff!

You should date actors/actresses because:

• we practice until its perfect
• we’re used to role playing
• we work well in big groups of people
• we’re trained how to scream loudly
• we’re used to performing in front of large audiences
• we’re used to adding to the scene
• we love to use our props
• we work for the pleasure of others
• we do it on cue
• after a brief intermission we’re ready to go at it again
• we always wear our costumes
• we’re used to quick changes
• we work onstage and Backstage
• we know how to put on a GREAT show!!!
• we do it on the spot
• we may take hours to get ready but in the end its all worth it
• we can stay in one position for hours and still make it enjoyable
• our mouths know just how to move
• we can make you stand up and scream for more at the end

I read several other people’s blogs, and one of them is by a woman who worked as co-chair of a theatre company in God-knows-where. I’ll leave her anonymous, for various reasons.

The guy she co-chaired the company with, to hear her tell it, is a prick. He wants the lead in every show they produce. He also wants his name as producer, director, and whatever-else. It’s painfully obvious to me that he’s doing this job for two reasons: a) he thinks he’s good at theatre (and maybe he is), and b) he likes to be in charge and in the limelight.

One thing I have learned in my years is that the only reasons you should stay in theatre are because you have a passion for theatre and it excites you. Excitement is the key here. If you’re excited, if you’re passionate about theatre, then you’ll find a way to make it. You won’t listen to the naysayers out there, who say you can’t make a living. You won’t listen to those who say theatre’s a waste of time. If you’re excited enough, you’ll find a way.

Excitement has a strange habit of crossing that 4th wall to the audience. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a show or been in a show where the audience afterward says “Can’t say I enjoyed the script, but the audience looked like they were having a blast, and I thought that was very, very enjoyable!” Excitement inspires people. It inspires them to come in the first place, to stick around for an entire performance, to come back next time.

Be excited.
Be passionate.
Inspire.

One of the biggest problems that I face in my local theatre is a large sense of apathy. Most of the people here bitch and moan about how they didn’t get cast in this, they didn’t get cast in that, the theatre’s screwing them out of this, screwing them out of that. They complain and complain, and the department looks the other way. Why? Because they won’t help themselves.

The solution, obviously, is to produce their own shows — do what Scott Walters’ suggests, and work together and do small scenes together, monologues, 10 minute plays. The solution is to do their own work. The theatre doesn’t owe them anything. The theatre will, however, help those who help themselves.

A good example is a few years ago, one of the seniors embarked upon her senior project. She proposed a drama camp during the summer for kids. The rest of the department loved the idea, and so it happened. She ran it almost entirely by students, with only one faculty member assisting in scene painting. By the end of a week, the kids had performed a show for their parents. It was a huge success, raising the student drama society about $3000. Naturally, the department picked this up, and now it’s a departmental, annual thing run fully by the theatre (with assistance from students).

So, clearly, the theatre itself will assist a project, and maybe even take it on permanently, if the students, actors, and crew will start it and it proves to be successful.

Unfortunately, nobody wants to get off their asses to do so. In the past two years, there have been a handful of attempts to encourage and provide acting opportunities, including: three student-directed plays (including two by me), an improv theatre troupe (failed), and a cabaret (failed). The latter two failed largely because of a lack of participation. Everyone (well, in general) would rather sit around and bitch to each other than get off their butts and participate.

Which brings me to my conclusion. I’m going to echo, once again, Scott Walters. He has a brilliant plan to inspire change in local-actor hiring practices, but he makes a point, too: people don’t want to put themselves at risk if they don’t have to.

So, obviously, the trick is to provide them with an appropriate desire-to-laziness ratio. That is, the desire to participate must overcome their laziness. This worked in the two shows that I directed, because the students involved were sufficiently motivated to perform on stage — they were small shows and almost everyone had what could be termed a “lead role”, which motivated them to perform. Unfortunately, those kinds of shows aren’t the kinds of things that can be easily repeated. They would need to be something that worked so well that the theatre could pick it up, but similar enough that you don’t need to do an entirely new creative process every time (like, say, the drama camp). In addition, you need to have one person who is willing to do the vast majority of the work and is able to delegate the small tasks to their friends who are helping.

To summarize:

1) People are lazy
2) We need projects to do
3) The projects need to be low-risk, short in time-span, yet still produce results
4) They need to be easy to participate in
5) They need to be repeatable with minimal supervision

So what kinds of things can we do? Hmm.

I’ll get back to you on that.

I’m relatively new to blogging, and I’ve yet to make it into extensive professional theatre credits, but I’ve been trying to keep up-to-date on the latest and greatest in the theatre scene. I have to say, despite only blogging for two months, I’ve read some pretty inspiring posts and chatted with some pretty incredible people. These are the guys who are changing my perspective on theatre, getting out of my young, naive viewpoint and into the nitty gritty reality of theatre. Here’s a brief list of just a few of the blogs that I read on a regular basis. I’ve got over 30 that I subscribe to, but for now I’ll stick to about five. Here we go:

- Theatre Ideas is run by Scott Walters. I’ve linked to him before. He’s one of the masterminds behind a movement to change the face of theatre. While his posts are hit-and-miss with me (sorry, I’m not good with statistics, Scott), I always walk away, so to speak, with more questions than answers. In case you’re wondering, that’s good. It generates comments (like the To MFA or Not MFA conversation) and keeps me on my toes.

- Parabasis is another blog that I read when they update. Like Theatre Ideas, Parabasis has some good stuff. Every once in awhile, there’s an off-topic post, but that kinda keeps things from getting too repetitive. A good blog that was posted very recently deals with the issue of Enhancement, or when commercial producers fund a show by a non-profit, in hopes of moving it to a commercial venue in the future. Good stuff.

- An Angry White Guy In Chicago isn’t really angry. He’s white, and he’s in Chicago, but he’s not angry. Well, sometimes he’s angry, sometimes he’s not. He got the name from — well, that’s not really relevant to this post. Semantics aside, this guy attacks some pretty serious issues facing theatre in Chicago, as well as some political stuff. Since theatre and politics are two of my favorite subjects to read about (until the election anyway, and then I’ll tune out), this ain’t so bad. Don’s got particularly funny ideas regarding stunt casting for Broadway musicals.

- A Storefront Rebellion was started by Kris Vire who, alongside Scott Walters, advocates the proliferation of.. well.. storefront theatres. Once again, great posts that are both inspiring and fun to read. He regularly posts on another blog called Time Out Chicago, which I have yet to read. Good stuff, though.

- BroadwayMouth wants to be a librettoist. Is that a word? I’m not sure. A teacher who wants to become a full-time libretto-maker (that’s definitely a word) writes a blog. He’s got some good down-to-earth posts, reviews, stories, etc. You name it, he’s got it, and he’s a good writer to boot! One of his recent posts discusses his first production experience. Great stuff!

By the way, you should all sign up for Google Reader and follow the instructions to add it to your favorite browser (I use Firefox). Once you’ve added Google Reader capability, you can go to any of the above blogs and look for one of the following:

• - Subscribe to this blog
• - Posts (Atom)
• - Subscribe to this RSS Feed
• - or look for an orange button that looks like antenna rays or something.

Once you click on those, choose to either add them to your GMail account or to Google Reader. One will send a notification to your email everytime someone updates, the latter will give you a button to press when you want to read a newly updated blog.

If you have any questions regarding RSS stuff, just ask. It’s fun, it’s easy, and it’s a great way to follow blogs (or any website for that matter)!!

Toodles for now!

Friend of mine emailed me this. Thought I’d share it with you guys. The theatrical structure. I dedicate this to Sandy.
Theatrical Structure:

Producer-
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.

Director-
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.

Playwright-
Leaps short buildings with a running start.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Actor-
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap
buildings.
Is run over by locomotives.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting
self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.

Chorus Member-
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter
buildings.
Says “Look at the choo-choo.”
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.

Stage Manager-
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the track.
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats
them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
*IS* God.